Conversation over breakfast

B. There’s an article here about a Duchess in England who has planted a poison garden.

G. Does she want to murder someone? Like they murder those Russian spies over there?

B. No silly. As a tourist attraction. She lives in one of those grand estates that need money to upkeep.

G. But poison! She must be pretty desperate.

B. It’s actually not a bad idea. We could plant one ourselves.

G. What for? We don’t want to attract tourists.

B. As a DIY euthanasia plan for our old age.

G. Steady on. I don’t know how these ideas pop into your head.

B. We’ve got lots of poisonous plants here in Oz. I’d be perfectly legal.

G. You have to know what you’re doing with poisons. What if we did a botch job on ourselves and ended up twitching in the backyard for days?

B. We could Google the right doses. We’ve even got a starter up the back – the oleander.

G. Well that’d be your first botch job. The pink ones aren’t too poisonous. It’s the yellow sort you’d need.

B. We wouldn’t rush into it. It’d need research. Maybe the castor oil plant. Or the white cedar. 

G. Would you mind not spoiling the rest of my breakfast with your wild ideas.

June 2018