Conversation over dinner

B. I think of such great ways to make our fortune when I am out the back watering in the evening.

G. Such as?

B. Today’s brilliant thought is a start-up called Noir Wakes.

G. What on earth is that?

B. It’s about providing an elegant mourning garden for people to hold the wake after a funeral.

G. Mmm.

B. Picture it. A courtyard walled in dark stone, with black pavers, a black Japanese spill fountain. We’d plant things like black pansies, black stemmed bamboo, black mondo grass. Guests would enter through a huge ebony door carved in Bali.

G. I like it. I like it. How about an avenue of dark cypresses leading up to it? And a resident black cat?

B. We’d offer noir menus: afternoon tea would be black coffee with black forest cake. Or maybe caviar on pumpernickel if they were rich.

G. Served on black chinaware of course. Lunch could be black pasta with aubergine, black sticky rice for dessert. I’m getting into the swing of this.

B. And aren’t there some fancy cocktails called negritos? They sort of sound black.

G. Never had one. Better Google them before we add them to the menu.

B. Do you really think we might be onto something here? Would we ever do it?

G. No. But it guarantees the back garden gets a thorough water each evening.

November 2018