Conversation after dinner

B. Some people are making a fortune out of us gardening oldies.

G. How do you mean?

B. The products they come up with.

G. Such as?

B. For a start, that fancy garden kneeler you bought the other day.

G. Well, that person deserves a fortune. Wouldn’t be without it now.

B. But others are kind of laughable. Here’s a device you wear round your waist that inflates when you fall so you don’t break your hip.

G. Like the inflatable air bag in a car? Bags you test that one. Not me.

B. And then there’s the gifts they suggest people give us. Solar powered butterflies on a stake that flutter.

G. Hope no-one chooses them for us. Fluttering all day they’d drive us mad.

B. Then there’s a polyresin crocodile in three life-size sections. You bury each section a bit apart on the front lawn so it looks like it’s hiding.

G. To frighten the postman?

B. People must keep buying these things or they wouldn’t keep making them.

G. Put on your thinking cap then. We could always do with some extra dosh.

June 2018